What Does an Elopement Ceremony Look Like? Real Examples + Ideas to Make It Your Own

One of my favorite things about eloping is that you get to throw the rulebook out the window. Your wedding day can literally look and feel however the hell you want it to, whether that means hiking to a mountaintop, bringing your favorite people along, or keeping things quiet and just the two of you.

And, while many people focus on the freedom that comes with activities and the overall structure of your day, a big part of that freedom is also your elopement ceremony. There’s no script you have to follow, no specific way you have to stand, and no list of traditions you’re required to check off. You simply get to decide what this moment means to you and then create a ceremony that matches that.

In this guide, I’m breaking down a few of the ways elopement ceremonies can look, as well as sharing examples from real couples I’ve documented so you can get some inspiration for your own day. And as a licensed officiant, I’ll also walk you through what it looks like when I officiate your ceremony, and how to figure out what option makes the most sense for you.

Your Elopement Ceremony, At a Glance

Before we dive into all the fun details of what your elopement ceremony can actually look like, here’s is a high-level overview:

• Timing: Anywhere from 5 minutes to 45 minutes or more. There really isn’t a magic number here.
• Requirements: Technically, you don’t need anything specific for the ceremony itself, but most couples include things like vows, exchanging rings, and a kiss.
• Ways to Personalize Your Ceremony: Handfasting, a musical performance, reading a poem, sharing a prayer, mixing sand… the possibilities are pretty much endless!
• How I can help: If you’re keeping your ceremony simple, I can absolutely help you figure out the flow, make sure you know what needs to happen, and officially sign as your officiant. But if you want someone whose job is to actually lead the ceremony, guide everyone through the different parts, and keep things moving, I’d recommend bringing in a dedicated officiant.

What Typically Happens in an Elopement Ceremony?

So, you’ve got your elopement timeline and activities all planned out for the day, but what does it actually look like once you’ve made it to your ceremony spot and it’s time to get married?! This is the moment when all the planning, hiking, adventuring, and excitement finally comes together. And while your ceremony can be as simple or elaborate as you want, there are a few things you’ll commonly see:

• Vows: These can be heartfelt, hilarious, or a combination of all of the above. There’s no magic formula here. You can write your own vows, repeat traditional vows, or do whatever feels most like you.
• Rings: A lot of couples exchange rings during their ceremony, but you absolutely don’t have to. If rings aren’t your thing, skip ’em!
• Kiss: And then, of course, there’s the first kiss as a married couple! Although, again, you’re allowed to do this however you want. Want to kiss? Kiss! Want to hug, high-five, dance, or immediately yell “WE’RE MARRIED!”? I’m here for it.

I do want to emphasize that these elements are by no means a rulebook, and you can choose to include all, some, or none of them in your day. Lots of couples also add things like a fun tradition or meaningful activity to make their ceremony feel a little more personal. But the beauty is that you get to decide what your elopement ceremony looks like, and I promise you, there are no wrong answers.

Ok, now that you know some of the fundamental elements couple usually include in their elopement ceremony, here are a few different ways this portion of you day can look.

What Does a Short Elopement Ceremony Look Like?

First up is the short and sweet elopement ceremony! I’ve found that some couples feel a little self-conscious about wanting a shorter ceremony, but I’m here to reassure you that a quick ceremony can still be special. You don’t need a long ceremony for the moment to feel incredibly meaningful!

In terms of what they look like, these usually last around 5 to 10 minutes and have a more minimal structure, typically just including the core elements mentioned above. The couple stands together, takes turns reading their vows, exchanges rings, shares a kiss, and that’s usually it!

These types of ceremonies typically work well if you’re trying to time things around sunrise or sunset since they fit nicely into that narrow window.

Real Examples of a Short Elopement Ceremony

For J + C, it was really important to them that their elopement ceremony was just the two of them, exchanging vows at Artist Point at sunset. Their ceremony lasted around 10 minutes to fit within that window and was FILLED with so many touching and heartfelt details. They shared incredibly beautiful vows and even included a cute handfasting element, where they tied their hands together using climbing rope and ribbon. It was a great example that a shorter elopement ceremony can be powerful!

I also had R + M, who wanted to have an early morning elopement up in the mountains. It was just the two of them in one of their favorite locations, and they kept things super sweet and simple with handwritten vows, exchanging rings, and a first kiss as the alpenglow lit up the mountains behind them! It was short but so special, and it also gave them plenty of time for the adventure-filled rest of their day, which included skiing with their families and EPIC sunset portraits at the end!

What Does a Longer, More Traditional-Style Ceremony Look Like? 

Maybe you want your elopement ceremony to feel a little more like a traditional wedding ceremony, just without all the other stuff that comes with a traditional wedding. You want a bit more time to soak in the moment, share something meaningful, or bring in some of the people you love. Whatever the reason, a longer ceremony can be a really beautiful way to slow things down and make space for all of that!

In terms of timing, I find that most couples with longer ceremonies tend to land around 20 minutes, but they can absolutely be longer depending on what you want to include. If it’s just the two of you, that extra time might go toward longer, more intentional vows or a special tradition, activity, or personal touch. If you’re including friends and family, your ceremony might look like having an officiant give a welcome statement, a family member sharing a reading or prayer, or someone special playing a song.

It’s also important to know that because longer ceremonies tend to have a few more moving parts, they usually take a little more structure and planning. But that extra work beforehand can also give you more intentional pacing and a bigger emotional buildup, which can be extra powerful if that’s what you’re looking for!

Real Example of a Longer Elopement Ceremony

C + D had their ceremony in the middle of a forest during the fall, surrounded by golden aspen leaves. They wanted to include their friends, and since they weren’t tied to sunrise or sunset, they had a little more flexibility to let their ceremony take its time.

One of their friends officiated the ceremony and shared a reading along with some incredibly sweet and heartfelt words. They also included a handfasting ceremony as a symbol of their commitment to each other. It was a super meaningful ceremony, and I loved seeing how they included their closest people while still creating something that felt completely true to them.

Elopement Ceremony Ideas & Traditions

Now that we’ve talked about the different ways your ceremony can be structured, let’s talk about some of the ideas and traditions you can include in the moment! And when I say the possibilities are endless, I really mean it. You don’t have to limit yourself to what you think is “right” or traditional. You can incorporate pretty much ANYTHING that feels meaningful to you, and sometimes the more out-of-the-box, the more personal it can feel!

Here are some real ceremony ideas to get you started:

• Handfasting
• Smudging
• Chinese tea ceremony
• Reading a poem
• Playing a song
• Reading scripture
• Tree (or cactus, or flower) planting unity ceremony
• Unity sand (or wine, or even candy!) ceremony
• Playing Uno or your favorite game
• Eating your favorite snack
• Exchanging gifts
• Anything that feels special and meaningful to you!

And if you want even MORE ideas for making your elopement day feel like you, I wrote a whole blog with ideas you can incorporate throughout the rest of your day. You can read the whole list here!

Do You Have to Include Traditions Like Rings or Vows?

While lots of couples choose to include vows and exchange rings during their elopement ceremony, there are NO requirements to do either! If that doesn’t feel like you, you can totally skip them or choose something else instead. Remember, this is YOUR ceremony, so you get to decide what feels true to you.

When it comes to alternatives to rings or vows, you could exchange handwritten letters, take a quiet moment together, or simply soak in each other’s presence. I actually had a couple who didn’t do vows or rings because it just didn’t feel like them. Instead, they did a cute little pinky swear and shared a quick kiss, and that was it! It was short, sweet, and totally them. And yep, that still counts as an elopement ceremony!

What Does It Look Like When I Officiate Your Ceremony?

Along with being an elopement photographer, I’m also ordained through the Universal Life Church and can legally officiate your wedding! If you’re planning a simple ceremony and don’t need someone there to lead every part of it, I can help you figure out the flow beforehand, make sure you know what needs to happen, and officially sign your marriage license.

What I can’t do is magically photograph your ceremony while I’m standing up there officiating it (sorry, I haven’t yet acquired this particular superpower). So if you want someone dedicated to leading the ceremony, guiding you through your vows, and keeping everything moving while I document the moment, I recommend bringing along a separate officiant. I’m happy to send some recommendations your way!

And if you’d like me to sign as your officiant, that’s already included in my pricing — no extra fee needed.

How Do Couples Decide What Their Ceremony Should Be?

If you’re still wondering what your elopement ceremony should look and feel like, here’s the biggest piece of advice I can give you: take a moment and really imagine your ideal ceremony. What’s happening? Is it just the two of you, or do you have your closest friends and family there? Are you picturing a specific location or time of day? What traditions or personal touches would make the moment feel really meaningful to you?

Most importantly, try to think about what YOU actually want, rather than what you think you’re “supposed” to want. Once you have a better idea of what feels right for you, you’ll have a much easier time figuring out exactly what you want your ceremony experience to be!

Elopement Ceremony Frequently Asked Questions

Do we write our own vows for an elopement ceremony?

You can absolutely write your own vows for your elopement ceremony, but you don’t have to! Some couples choose to use traditional or religious vows, and that’s perfectly fine, too. If you want to write your own vows, go for it! It’s a really sweet way to personalize your ceremony and make the moment feel even more like you.

What are the legal requirements for an elopement ceremony?

It depends on the state where you’re getting married. Some states require an officiant and at least one witness to sign your marriage license. If yours does, I’m more than happy to serve as your officiant. Otherwise, I can serve as one of your witnesses!

Some states, like Colorado, are a little different in that you can self-solemnize. That means you don’t need an officiant or witnesses present at all, and the two of you can sign your marriage license yourselves!

Just make sure you check the marriage laws for the state where you’re eloping so you know exactly what you need.

Can our elopement ceremony be completely non-traditional?

YES! Your elopement ceremony can look however you want it to, including being completely non-traditional. In fact, those personal, unexpected elements can be what make your ceremony feel extra special and meaningful to you. There really are NO rules!

What happens if we get emotional or don’t know what to say?

It’s totally normal to get emotional during your wedding ceremony. You’re standing there marrying your favorite person, so of course the feelings might hit you (though they don’t have to!). If you find yourself getting overwhelmed or suddenly don’t know what to say, pause for a second and take a breath. Look at your partner, soak in the moment you’re sharing, and let everything else fade into the background.

It can also be helpful to bring some tissues and practice your vows a few times beforehand so you have a better idea of what you want to say and how it feels to say them out loud. And if you end up crying? LET THE HAPPY TEARS FALL! There’s no right or wrong way for your ceremony to look, and getting emotional, laughing, or even freezing for a second is all part of it.

I hope this guide gave you a better idea of what an elopement ceremony can actually look like, whether that’s five minutes of just the two of you sharing your vows, a longer ceremony surrounded by your favorite people, or something completely outside the box! YOU get to decide what your ceremony looks like, not anyone else, and that’s what makes elopements so special.

Of course, your ceremony is just one piece of the bigger picture. What you do before and after, where you explore, what you eat, who you bring along, and how you spend those in-between moments are all part of creating a day that actually feels like yours. If you’re ready to dream up the whole thing, check out my guide on what an elopement day looks like from start to finish!

And if you’re already starting to think, okay wait… THIS is what we want our wedding day to feel like, I’d be SO stoked to help you make it happen. Let’s create something that feels like peak existence for you two!

Blog post written by Sonder Studio